today we're going to talk about getting pissed off about sex, because part of world-suck is sex-suck. and i don't like it. *whip cracking* *throat clearing* *hinge creaks* ooooh, there's so much to get angry about, right? pitiful, harmful sex education.
interesting human sexuality topics, jilting pap smears. painful sex, especially the swords and torches kind. infections. cosmetic baby cutting [cough covering the word circumcision].
then all the issues related to body not cooperating, like not having orgasms, or an erection, or a penis. there are hundreds of other woes that i scroll through daily. you guys expecting your sexualities and relationships to be different than what they are. let's get so mad! *metal music* [panting] now what? now we find our power, what we do have control over. sometimes i think my power is being loud or mean. i think that by throwing this huge temper tantrum i'm gonna get what i want. but the result is usually short lived and chalk-full of resentments. i end up creating more world-suck, which is not what i want at all.
so the better way is honest power, sans manipulation. a big circle in the center. in the circle i write down what i can control. creating a want, will, won't list. what i wear, which pronouns i use, exploring my body, playing, laughing, how i spend my time, mastubating, looking at my intentions and subsribing to sexplanations, sex+, and vlogbrothers. one the outside of the circle i write down what's out of my control. what i was taught, my past choices, hell, the past, how people treat and view me, political climate, my attractions and social expectations the mixed messages i get, the misinformation in the media, and world-suck. sex-suck. so once it's right in front of me, and i've organized it, like this, i know where to put my attention and energy.
what's in the circle? what's in the circle? what's in the circle? noticeable changes right away, because i am working on my work, rather than trying to manage the things that are out of my control. here's a break down of what i can and can't control about circumcision. there are many other formats for this if you're not a huge circle fan. something i recommend to clients is journal style, with highlighters. write out your experience of the sexual injustice. then, with three highlighters, mark up what you do have control over, orange what you don't have control over, green, and what you're unsure about, pink. or blue, or purple. then, focus on the orange. one more thing: this all started with anger. so while i guiding you to take an inventory or your anger, and act in a constructive manner, i also want to honor the anger.
no matter what you do to try an heal, fix, correct. sort this all out, you're gonna have to grieve. i've attached a link to elizabeth kubler ross's stages of loss and grief, you're already at the second one if you're pissed off. you're gonna make progress here in your own time. try not to get stuck, keep pushing though it, fell your feelings, and if you need help and resources, let us know.